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Saturday 14 March 2015

The Crazy Chimp Collective is Two Years Old!

3/14 marks the day in 2013 when we formed, which was exactly 2 years after I released Intelligence, my first game to get any sort of appeal, on 3/14 of 2011. Now we're in 2015, and my god do we have some accomplishments now!

A Year in Review!
So if you are interested in the nitty gritty of all that happened this past year, read on after the video, if not, you can simply watch the awesome video below and then jump to the next time big text is used!
 Month of March, following Exile's Release:
After releasing the demo of a charming game about a Galaxion criminal who for her crimes, was sent to Earth to get her out of the Directorate's hands, the year began pretty quiet. So I figure since it's one of the less remarkable periods I'll go into the amusing political turmoil briefly alluded to in the video.

In late February I got a rather unexpected message from a blind mercenary, an emissary from RMwebs itself. It appears that they got our skype chat logs somehow, and had they been more cunning the information they had at their disposal could have been damning, thankfully this is RMwebs, the opposite of cunning and endlessly deluded in their presence of power, especially over me. I was able to play along diplomatically in earnest to reveal that they did indeed, have our logs. It was outrightly admitted (and proven) that the logs were in their hands, now privy to this information, I basically told the emissary to fuck off and that I didn't care about her dumb artist problem or whatever. It appears the one I'd briefly inquired about (goes by Hirei in most places) was under the assumption I was in a mood to harrass her, given the logs she read, and had she done more research she'd have found I had virtually no interest at all. Anyway, she sent Indra, who was still a moderator on to work it out, and the silly woman tried to blackmail me (and I may add, into not doing something I had no real intent of doing anyway) by showing the logs to the fellas.

That's right, those people who looked up to me like some sort of unorthodox god of chaos. I ofcourse knew this would fly as well as a brick, so I created the thread for her and said for her to 'go for it', I made it very clear I wasn't afraid nor that I was going to be bullied around by some imperial pissant from RMwebs, they exiled me, I don't have to play by their rules anymore. For some reason moderators and admins think as soon as they start stomping around that I'll fear them-- fair enough, most people wll comply, but I'm not most people, ruination awaits those who try to stifle me unjustifiably. Indra put forth a very cocky and arrogant demeanor, which made her very easy for me to feud with because people like that piss me off. Anyway, her little campaign ended up with me getting a 10% warn and only because I made the thread, me and one of the admins talked about it, and both of us concluded it was just a petty and entirely unnecessary campaign spurned on by an artist dabbling in affairs she knew little about. Though props to Hirei for sending someone my way who i didn't feel bad about upsetting later, because that spineless bint can't take criticisms on her pricing let alone handle a foul-mouthed arbitor of anarchy like myself.

Month of April, Joker's Gambit:
After that went about as laughably as I thought it would, I decided a video needed to be made cementing the idiocy in history, thus was born THE CONSPIRACY.

This is where things got really interesting, on april fools is when i gave this to Indra as a sort of 'hey lets not do that again 'cause it was kinda stupid yo', she took it with much more hostility than I thought she would, showing that her coky demeanor was indeed just an act, and like that I'd unwittingly shattered her pride to bits. That said and this is where all of RMwebs constantly fail, is that I can't be beaten with a tough act, I'm one who is beaten with shame and guilt over my own actions, they had the fuel to do that, but they didn't because heaven forbid they look properly into a matter before firing guns, this is why I always prevail despite my fraction of a userbase and lack of resources, I do study, I look into my opponents, and find out what'll make them tick, and what they've done past and present so i can splash it in their faces. Anyway, after that whole debacle one of my agents informed me that Hirei was now more or less about as popular as a boring old rock at an overdressed granite festival and that Indra had started just whining about it, I found evidence of this and saved it, it's on my computer now. And from it all i respect Indra now, like as a result, because doing research lends you to see what good a person can also do, and Indra clearly has some talent with game dev, so much as I mock her for her feeble efforts at moderaton at least she can do what you join the rpgmaker community to do, y'know, make rpgs?

I haven't heard from RMwebs or Indra since, sans some minor references which I'll get to later.

Also on I put out a couple April fools jokes as is tradition, sadly I can't show you for reasons explained ahead.

Month of May: The Appeal of Absolution:
I began working on Menagerie: Remastered about this time, making vast changes across the board and making the game what it should have been but wasn't.

Month of June: Contest... more like COINTEST!:
This is where the year got good, and that big indie game contest was a thing, well I was allowed entry because Touchfuzzy is a cool guy, I missed the deadline, but it's okay, i doubt I would have won anyway for the following reasons.
1. I'm me, and even if my game was without exception the winner, it wouldn't have won because it would mean condoning anything I do. And RMwebs won't do that.
2. The Judges in the vast majority either had a problem with me or didn't know who i was, Touchfuzzy may have voted for me since he isn't a fucking sponge, but regardless it would have endangered a lot to do so, and Touchfuzzy's already been the impetus behind one site's calamity, though at least that was awesome while it was happening.
3. Finally, and this is the most relevant reason, regardless of bias, this contest was a commercial ploy, and every contestant I've talked to has agreed and lamented such, but that's pretty much a no-shit reaction for me, since I've known a lot of the staff on RMwebs before RMwebs was even a thing, and I know it's not even them that push it much, it's the big dudes in Degica behind the western RPG Maker marketing and sales arm, they were hosting the contest. My submission wouldn't have won purely because I wouldn't have let them monetize it like the greedy fucking ratbags they are, and they know it.

Regardless, I missed the deadline by a few hours because I failed to note (alike several others) that it was based on UTC, which strikes me as odd since the majority of rpgmaker developers are American, but hey, that's fiiine. Ars Harmonia nor Teardrop Distance won either, and I'll give you a couple guesses why despite being in the top two by user votes...

Well come on, they aren't made in RPGmaker, it would have undermined the real purpose of the whole contest, so GG RMwebs, for being a predictable corporate toilet.

Month of July: Just a Quintology:
Despite all this, I released Perseverance to my folks on Gamejolt, and some other places. Among the responses was someone touting me as some god of eventing, I modestly said nope, I'm just very good at finding out how much the system can take before it'll break. I regarded Perseverance, in its stinted one hour action-packed length as a success.

Quarter 3, The August, September and October Unremarkable:
For the majority of the remaining year I worked on Menagerie: Remastered! Correcting every grievance I had with the old.

Month of November, forever remember:
However I began to stress a little, so I spontaneously began working on Intelligence: Net-ready, which was a graphically updated, feature-expanded version of Intelligence designed to be a lot more fluid and, yes "Net-Ready!", it also ties into canon established by Menagerie: Remastered, Exile and Menagerie perfectly. I released that on on 13th of November 2014 or 11/1-3/14.

Around this time, I ban evaded on and appealed myself of my two year old ban, the staff actually gave me another chance, and I did my best not to screw it up, but it seems Galv, also a moderator on RMwebs fears me, I can't access the PM's that more or less confirmed it, but he showed clear concern over things I did, and began needlessly warning me for every post in which i didn't strictly abide to the rules, unsurprisingly, I told him to get his head out of his ass and to look before he shot bullets of idiocy, and what a tweest, this got me banned. Well I admit I was a little annoyed at first but then kind of relieved, honestly I don't think I've seen a more stunning example of a whimpy whining userbase since the World of Warcraft forums.

One of the guys complained about me using the word gay in a harmless context ffs (when he wasn't gay himself and the line was so obviously not ill-natured it'd make Stephen fry ashamed), so I've concluded that is basically Tumblr for RPGmakers, so you were right, Raginghobo, I guess I certainly don't fit in amongst a bunch of spineless little tarts who can't take criticism at all.

Hell the only reason I appealed my ban was because had basically died because of some server error and iEntry cocked up somehow, which was moreso their less, the domain was worth over 10,000 dollars a year, and now it's GONE.

So I dunno, get those Barista's who spilled coffee over the server a stable table or something.

Month of December, the final concourse:

All of was not lost, I rounded up whomever I could into a group chat, the chat as it's called, and now we have a small quiet though still awesome little forum called RPGarden, don't worry that humungous tool XIX won't be a super mod for long and if he does anything outta bounds just let me know and I'll tell him to undo it and to stop being such a twat. Alike I'm more or less the site's secret prime minister, and while admins and the like are the ones who will manage dealing with crime, I'm the mute impetus behind each roll of the dice and each move on the board.

Of particular note in December was the release of Menagerie: Remastered! on gamejolt and most RPGmaker places, it did pretty well!  Once that was done I got back into doing art, and lots of it.

Desura's release of Menagerie: Remastered would come much later.

Month of January, a happy new smear!:
Most of this month was relaxation after the hectic struggle to get M:R out, was arting like nuts, on the 23rd of this month, i was given the news Desura was ready to release my most recent submission on the 7th of the next month...

Month of February: Best Birthday Ever!:
For those who don't know, my Birthday is on the First of February (or 1/2 in non-American timestamps, see my infatuation with the number 12), but the birthday for me this month was a week or two in, when Menagerie: Remastered came out on Desura, which went far beyond my expectations, I was asked to take part in a journalist to developer interview as a journalist played my game, this went really well despite how noticably awkward I was in the call. On desura M:R, be it because it was free or what, took off in a massive way, before the dust had even settled on the games position we were #48th on desura, that was what we reached, no I'm serious, we were ahead of Five Nights at freddies 2 and fucking [i]Half-life[/i] for a little while, 5000+ pageviews and last a good while in the top 100 of the largest indie-catered game development and publishing platform in the world, it was truly amazing! We'd gone from Nobodies to being in the top 50 in a time faster than I could comprehend, we were in the top 1.5% of Indie games... this was the moment I knew, the polotics earlier in the year, all the palooka with, it was all a moot point now, a concern bearing no need to further fixate on, I'd outdone them, not only that, I no longer needed them, hell i probably didn't ever need them, but i thought i did!

Well, enjoy that RMwebs and that other place, me and my better 15 have outdone ALL of your pitiful efforts to make the better game, because I am not afraid to pursue what I believe in, I'm not in the industry to make money, I don't make just any games, you fucking casuals, I make good games.

I really should thank you, though. For being such a constant pair of rivals, a presence ever felt, and a threat never-dismissed, even now I care about your opinions of me, for I would not bother to boast did I not, just eat the humble pie and admit it, I'm basically better than you in every regard, you mind-numbing corporately-indoctrinated hacks.

Once upon a time we were all friends, and while that may never be a possible future, my only lamentation is that you became this way, I feel sorta bad ripping on you like this because i know deep down you're cool people, we we're friends once after all! But then you got a stick the size of nippon up your collective asses and acted like you're better than me just because you were exploited by Degica for profit, welp, hope you realize that so long as you act that way, I'm never gonna let you come out on top! And these recent developments should prove just how serious I am.

Month of March, carry on you sly monkey!:
And finally comes a close to this recap, beyond you will find some awesome free stuff to celebrate, as well as a link to the demo for Perseverance: Adherence!

So, you want free stuff? Well we gotcha covered, fella!
First off, the instructions for these are simple, save the images as, and print them out on paper, cut out the part that matters and laminate.

Only now can I hope to be this pretentious, but still, you can't blame me for the ideology of teaching a family, or better yet-- a child of the existence of these games! After all, Intelligence, Hellcat, Menagerie, Exile and Perseverance are all very **kid-friendly**, and will teach children some great things about life. (and maybe get them a few odd looks at their school but hey lets not be anti-fun here!)

If I see anyone post a photo of these littered over their eating table or coffee table or desk or whatever you'll have made me one happy little monkey, and your printer will be thanked for its copious sacrifice of ink.

Let's start this off with a celebratory M:R themed Coaster and a Placemat.
Inspired a little by Getcha Pants or Getcha Wings from Oddworld Abe's Exoddus Slig barracks, and also the "Getcha' Game" Download banner for the 2013 version of Menagerie.

The first person I see to take a photo of this placemat on their Living-room table with their kid looking worried at it just, they win, okay? I'm not sure what they even win but fuck do they win.

Which would be ideal given the heavy loss of ink they suffered printing out this fucking thing.

Some Intelligence: Net ready stuff, now! First here's a charming placemat of Rolly claiming seconds.
And here's a coaster! Since a lot of people like Maw I figured I'd go with that and paraphase one of his lines to be more drink-related.

This is a coaster after all! Now let's print these out, laminate them, and come April fools just replace all of your boring workplace's and house's slate placemats and coasters with these beauties, yes! Oh that would be great, that Zardari one will be great for the fusspots who look at their vegetables with something other than the appreciation of a farmer's toil. The one who's known for wanting seconds gets Rolly beating him to the punch, and as for coasters, well just give whoever whatever. Originally I was gonna have GETCHA GROG on the M:R one, but then I realized that Glug sounds funnier and also is kid-friendly. Don't want to be accused of influencing one's child to get super-hammered at the whim of his Galaxion Directorate here would we?

Alright, are you happy?

Haha, no I didn't think so. Well pucker your butthole, there's more! But before I go on with all that, allow me to give you the scoop on Perseverance: Adherence...

The Red Cat is back, but first it's a black cat, oh shit!
Yes, Nola physically embodies bad luck, that's sorta her deal. Okay not really but shush, here watch this trailer before you go filling my inbox with hate, though you should do that if you feel you want to anyway. It's not healthy to bottle that up.

The playable portion of the game so far stars Nola, Pep's accomplice and twisted friend, you may remember her if you played the original Perseverance, this is her indoctrination into the Perseverance Union, she's still shaken up from having her parents murdered so she hasn't got that really sassy streak yet, though you can see it start to form, and it's especially present if you find all the flavor text lying around, especially in the Nuclear Silo (Stage 2), you can see a bit of her ferocity when confronting Saxxis. The demo has Act One of Six that are planned, currently while polished there's only about 20 minutes of gameplay there, but that's fine for a demo, keep in mind that time is without deaths, or hold ups-- reading flavor text etc. Your lineage may vary.

So the game can be found here, and of its many features, here are some that you can try out in the demo.
~Deep evented action combat, now with Shadowdash (invulnerability frames), Direction Lock (in other words, you can hold a key to lockstrafe.), new weapons (one of which you'll get to try in the demo) and platforming mixed in.
~Parkour and Puzzles (Hell yes, Splode Machines)
~Intense Boss Fights
~Epic Escape sequences (one is in the demo, and it uses teleporters and is awesome, the end?)
~Beautiful hand-drawn environments (I'm not using tilesets anymore. I draw maps as such)
~Brilliantly presented picture cutscenes (they're actually videos, so no desync and less filesize and chugging.)
~Charming characters with their own goals, strengths and weaknesses.
~Comical dialogue and dark religious overtones.
~A Psychedelic experience acid trip that'd make the Lorax on Ice look conservative.
~I'm your savior! (I'm joking, currently my member XII monkey alias is the save point but that'll be replaced in future builds. Think of it as a placeholder for now.)
~Polish out the ass, and in a good way!

So, yes, that game, go geddit, have fun, stop reading this, no stop it.
 You can get your wallpapers later, go play that game first.

More free stuff!
Be sure to save all of this glorious filth, the schmaltzy spectacle may seem absurd at first, but later, you will want it, crave it, need it in your brood, and yet-- you will not find it. Or at least that may happen, so let's not take risks and save it all, you'll be sorry if you don't, I promise!

First here's a Menagerie: Remastered Desktop wallpaper starring the Galaxion Myriad alongside Tac's famous quote.

Now here's a very large Intelligence Wallpaper, with faces and stuff!

Here's one by Pjcr and wallpaper-ified by MCMo (aka Makkilemore) and it's really awesome. It's of Fyori because why wouldn't it be?

Here's one of Esperia, a major antagonist in the Perseverance games and one of my most fleshed out female murderer characters to date.

Here's another one of Fyori, being unthinkably adorable.

Let's just have this one from last year as well, won't hurt!

And it wouldn't be Pi Day without a Poster depicting Pi and all it's glorious relations to the Universe!

This one is a fan submission, from a fella who goes by Tejas-Tank, it's a really nice image based on Perseverance. I'd be lying if I said my desktop wasn't adorned with it for over a month.

And in contrast, here is some fan-service, I guess you could call it... I drew this up on my Birthday for fun, and made a wallpaper out of it. It's Fyori and Spooky Swapping clothes because that's what I felt like doing.

And at last, a widescreen Wallpaper for the newest version of Perseverance.

And there we go! Enjoy your desktop wallpapers and stuff.  Finally, here's some samples from the Perseverance: Adherence Soundtrack, courtesy of MoneyMenace.
Happy 3/14!

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